Happy Together

I've been saying this for years.  Well, we both have, actually.  One of the biggest "secrets" to a happy marriage is just remembering why the two of you got together in the first place. It was about love.  And sex.  It sure as hell wasn't because you exchanged job resumes and decided that this would make a great business partnership.  It probably wasn't because you both really enjoyed bowling.

No, it was probably because you thought she was pretty.  You liked the way she smiled or the way she laughed.  There was some strong "electricity" between the two of you.  It wasn't just because he or she was good in bed, but because you liked waking up to one another.  You liked walks on the beach, or in the park, or wherever. 

When we got married, we didn't have that proverbial "pot to piss in."  We didn't have a lot of money.  We had each other and just enough to get by, and that was all that mattered.  We got married in 1970. Vietnam was still raging as was the Cold War.  In the back of people's minds, they had that nagging thought that everything could come to a sudden end with the push of a button.  I suppose most every generation had it's own political nightmares.  The point is, we simply enjoyed being together and we wanted more of that.  So we got married.  And while every couple has disagreements about something or other - it's part of getting your lives adjusted - we really didn't argue about money, simply because we didn't have much of it to argue about. 

And then, as we mature, as we grow within our respective professions, we earn a little bit more money, we move into a bigger house, we need more space to put our "stuff," and eventually, if we're not careful, the more we HAVE, the more we may ARGUE about what to do with it. 

Sure, most everybody likes (and has) "toys" of one sort or another. "Toys" don't have to be large items like snowmobiles or 4-wheelers, they can be small, like porcelain dolls or crystal, like tools or shoes.

And it's bad enough that couples should forget that they were first and foremost LOVERS, and begin quibbling about what to spend their "disposable income" on, but I guarantee you,  you're on the Highway to Hell the minute either one of you utters the words "my money," or "your money."  When every unnecessary purchase has to become a business negotiation, when things start to become tit-for-tat and quid pro quo, you've got a problem.  And the problem is rather two-fold;  you've accumulated too much fucking "stuff" and/or you've simply become more focused on the "stuff" than the fact that you're lovers.

Now granted, we all age and over time we probably don't perform as "acrobatic" of sex as we used to, but that doesn't have anything to do with being lovers and just enjoying one another's company.  It's not about the "having," it's about the "doing."  It's not about what kind of car you drive or how many of them you have, but how you feel when you're together riding in it.

It's not about clothes, shoes, knick-knacks, boats, cars, or any other kind of physical thing.  It's about being together and loving the other person. Get your eyes back on the "prize."  

I can honestly say that all of the "poor" people I've ever known were generous. They didn't have much, but they were always happy to share what they had.

Wealthy people, on the other hand are constantly faced with the issue of "who's handling their money."  Are they being ripped-off?  What kind of people are "benefitting" from the taxes they pay?  Simply put, the more people have, the more they worry about who's doing what with it, or who might be somehow "benefitting" from it that they don't think are "worthy."

If a hurricane or a flood suddenly wiped away all of your worldly possessions and I asked you if that meant you were finished as a couple, you'd undoubtedly answer,"Oh, hell no…..we love each other.  Those were just 'things.'"  Yeah, now that they're gone, they're just "things," but what about when you were surrounded by those "things?" 

As human beings, it's natural to become "accustomed" to higher and higher levels of living.  It "feels" good.  It's comforting to have a "nice home," drive a new car and eat something besides Kraft Dinner or Hamburger Helper.

Well, when we got married, we ate plenty of that stuff, and we were happy.

Now that we're retired, we may go back to eating some Kraft Dinner more often than going to a restaurant with "ambiance" for fettuccine. But we'll be happy.

Because we're lovers.

PROPAGANDA

"And this is how it works, chapter and verse.  The professional liar pipes up with a bald-faced lie.  Though it is quickly and easily disproven, other professional liars pipe up to say that if we ignore the fact that the liar is a lying, the liar raises a good point.  The liars take to the op-ed pages to note that the liar is just asking the question and now the question is out there.  And they will make damn sure the question is out there for as long as it takes to get a flock of morons and dunderheads to believe that there is a conspiracy to not answer the question, even though 'the question' was a lie to begin with and no less a lie through each of the various iterations meant to sanitize it enough for the public to forget that the whole thing was a fiction from the start.

That is how Whitewater worked.  This is how cattle futures worked.  This is how the worst human shitstains in America turned 'Vince Foster' into a talking point.  This is how stupid people came to believe that Barack Obama was secretly a Muslim.  This is why the first non-white president had to publicly release his birth certificate, and why there is no 'birth certificate' that will ever be considered - by a certain crowd that includes actual American congressional representatives - authentic enough to put 'the questions' to rest.  This is how it works.

It is, of course, propaganda.  It is intended as propaganda, it is invented as propaganda, it is promoted as propaganda.  Karl Rove did not care whether Hillary Clinton was in the hospital for a few days or a month; he did not care whether Hillary Clinton was wearing sunglasses meant for 'brain injury' or the same sunglasses she has been photographed wearing dozens of times before or since.  Rich Lowry does not care that Karl Rove was lying about both those things, and is eager to write a column suggesting that the question has been raised as to whether Rove's provably false statements are somehow true anyway.  The nice mainstream news outlet is happy to publish Rich Lowry raising the question, because being a nice mainstream news outlet means studiously avoiding critiques as to whether what you are publishing is in fact fraudulent, because it is naturally newsworthy that professional liars are asking the questions.

We continue to be a nation that deals out no punishment for being a professional liar.  On the contrary, we treat them very well, better than those that do not lie, in fact, because the liars are always sure to generate all-important buzz, and we give them columns and op-eds, and write columns and op-eds about them, and there is literally nothing they say that is so provably false as to finally discredit them as peddlers of falsehoods.  There can be no such thing as an informed populace if those that would inform them steadfastly insist that lying to them is just as good; the press is not truly free if it has been captured as a tool of propagandists, and willingly submits itself to the same.

This is how it works, and this is why we are now a nation that sees the ghosts of conspiracy in every corner.  This is why there is a Bundy ranch standoff, and why Benghazi! will get more hearings than all other attacks on American diplomatic outposts combined, and why climate change will continue to be disputed even as large parts of Antarctica cave off into the rising seas.  This is why we fought a war in Iraq, and why those that peddled it have faced no professional repercussions.  Because we continue to treat truth and ideologically laced falsehood with exactly equal merit, as if they are two equally worthy opponents for our attention and our respect, and govern ourselves with notions taken just as liberally from the falsehoods as from the facts."

Full article:  https://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/05/18/1299603/-How-Karl-Rove-Rich-Lowry-and-Politico-are-damaging-America

Overwhelmed by Stupid

Somedays, it's just too much.  The stupid, that is.  And I'm not talking about your everyday, run-of-the-mill, grassroots stupid; not the hold my beer and watch this stupid, not the let's see what happens when I do this stupid.  I'm talking about big league, epic media stupid; sources that are virtual fountains of idiocracy. And it wouldn't be so bad if it was just a matter of the source being wrong, fraudulent or misleading, but of course, people choose to drink from these fountains and even bathe in them.

It's the usual sources; FOX pinheads like Hannity, political balloon heads like Palin, Bachmann and Boehner, and then there's those twits that the media has transformed into Godzilla-grade icons of stupid; people like Nugent and Bundy.

It's not bad enough that we have to deal with dolts like them at ground level. Oh, no.  Politicians and talking heads take them to their bosom, making them larger than life, giving them notoriety.

And it's honestly not just a matter of my ideology; there are thoughts and actions that just plain don't make any sense, but people will cling to them religiously, and I use that word in it's full ironic sense.  People who say things like I'm pro-life and in the next breath, they oppose universal health care. That's just plain selfishness and lack of benevolence.  What they mean is, pro-life for me and my immediate family, I could care less if you die.

People who think that it's somehow, by some strange twist of logic, psychologically healthy to walk around streets, parks, shops and other public areas, displaying or brandishing small arms, like that guy down in Georgia at the Little League game.  He might just as well have pulled out his penis, because his goal was to shock and and be ostentatious. Oh, look at me!  I have a gun and it's legal to show it off!  How incredibly odd that it would have been a crime for him to have exposed himself, showing an organ of procreation as opposed to an instrument of death.  I'm not promoting flashing; just saying that the psychology is identical.

Idiots like Cliven Bundy, who says (quote) I don't even recognize the United States government as even existing, and then stands next to an American flag.  At least be consistent enough to create your own flag.   Idiots like the militia people who say they defend the Constitution, but who are ready to turn on a dime and oppose whatever law they choose.

Or Bundy's claim that he's not racist.  Or the denials that we're experiencing severe climate change directly linked to pollution emissions.

Certainly no irony, hypocrisy or stupidity there, eh?

It's shit like that, the human equivalent of a train wreck and it's happening on almost a daily basis.  And I just have to look the other way before I start bleeding from the eyes.  I have to ground myself out on things more basic, more creative, more life-positive; my music, gardening, or canoeing.  I live within what I'd call a relative microcosm of sanity and reason; a world in which logic rules, a world in which one actually thinks before opening one's mouth.  A world that doesn't require a Glock or an AR-15 to go to QuickTrip for a gallon of milk.  A world that recognizes the success of Canada's healthcare program or the Netherland's sex education program. 

And then, I click the mouse, a news item comes up, and it's as if I'm peering directly into the Bizarro world of DC comics...

Clueless

There's no other explanation.  They don't know.  Moreover, they don't know that they don't know, which of course is the Dunning-Kruger effect.  Google it.

And our pathetic national literacy level couldn't possibly be a factor for our nation's problems, could it?  Average literacy is 8-9th grade.  20% read at 5th grade level and 30% are marginally illiterate, which means reading instructions on medications could be a real problem.

"If the verbiage of our society is at an elementary school level, how can the thoughts and actions that follow possibly be any loftier?"  Darryl Singer, from "The Decline of the English Language."

But it's more than knowing how to read and write.  There's that pesky thing called logic.

- How could a man like Cliven Bundy be blatantly racist, and not think that he is?

- How does nonsense just consistently flow from the mouths of Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann?

- How does Donald Sterling he's some kind of ok guy?

- How do people like militia members cry,"Hey, we're not doing anything illegal," which would suggest an actual respect for laws, and yet worship some vague ideology whereby they'll choose to obey the laws they think are just?

Hey, as long as we're talking about people with crazy ideas and crazy logic, let me suggest a crazy idea.

Let's just give these secessionists, racists and austerity freaks the states of Texas and Montana. Many of them are already there, so it won't mean a lot of relocating. That's over 415,000 square miles for them to do whatever the hell they want.

Montana is for those who like the cooler northern weather and green things.  And snow. Lots of freaking snow.

Texas is for those who like it a little warmer.  And sand.  Lots of that shit.  Plenty of room for shooting up old wrecked cars and blowing off piles of C-4.

Because the rest of us just flat out give up on their nonsense.  Take these two states and put up a big wall around both of 'em, just like along the Mexican border.  Whatever's inside the borders is yours; oil, minerals, whatever.  But you also get to own the downside.  Natural disasters?  Not our problem.  You bought it, you fix it.  No FEMA.

Supplies?  If you don't grow it, you'd better fly it in.  You don't wanna pay taxes for things like highways and bridges, you ain't using our highway system to truck-in stuff.  One exception; you can build one four-lane that connects the two states. No on or off ramps.

Security?  I thought you boys were good at that.  You own that, too. No air or ground support for any reason, whether the terrorism is internal or global.

And take care of all your other needs, too; natural resources, air and water quality, healthcare.  All of it.

You want to leave your unemployed and homeless to starve and die in the street?  Your choice.  You want to avoid vaccines?  Your choice. You want to forego workplace safety regulations?  Your choice.

Just go off and create your own little version of paradise, where every man, woman and child can open carry a gun.

But don't ask the rest of America for jack shit.

Guns, Fantasy and Reality

I've never found conspiracies seductive; mostly just outlandish, as they attribute way too much intelligence to men who can't even keep their dick in their pants or control what comes out of their mouths. Of course, it all makes for some entertaining movies and video games, but otherwise, for me, it's the stuff of tin foil hats.

That said, there have been dark moments when I've feared that what we see today in terms of global politics, saber-rattling, new technology and ludicrous media like FOX News…that it's all eerily similar to the story in the popular video game, Metal Gear - Guns of the Patriots.

As the main character, Snake says in the prologue,"It's no longer about nations, ideology, or ethnicity. It's an endless series of proxy battles, fought by mercenaries and machines. War and its consumption of life has become a well-oiled machine. War has changed."

In short, war has become its own economy. Then again, it always has been. My father was a key player in naval military contracts in the 60s. He travelled all over the country and conducted business with all the top corporations. In the years before he died, he told me stories about many men; how deals were made and why certain contracts were awarded to certain people. You really don't want to know.

Small arms - handguns and rifles - are just another part of the larger global market and men like Wayne LaPierre are just shills for the industry. A whore in a 3-piece suit. A PR man who gets paid $1 million a year to do speaking engagements. The problem is, he's as crazy as any of the villains in Metal Gear. I think he actually believes what he says. It would be even creepier to think that he doesn't. LaPierre is not merely a cog in the machine, he's a sideshow barker, a snake oil salesman. He's Billy Reed, the guy in the plaid jacket. He sells weapons the way Harold Hill sold musical instruments in The Music Man.

And worst of all, there are millions of men at the grass roots level who either buy into all the political bullshit and dogma, imagining they are driven by "ideology," or they're just adult children, attracted to the fetishism of guns and "playing soldier."

Men being men, are attracted to mechanical things - engines, machinery, mechanical power - and even more attracted if those things make loud noises or large holes in things. They are - as a friend put it - ammosexual. And many will adamantly deny this, but they'd also deny their relationship with their own personal "equipment."

Being attracted to war in general - the militarism, much less the killing part - is really not healthy psychology. In no way is that mindset an extension of say, a simple sportsman hunting for food.

As Snake says in Metal Gear,"War has become routine." Unfortunately, domestic terrorism and violence is also becoming routine. And it is becoming so, not just because of people whose minds have snapped at some point, but also because of the people (mostly men) who have such an unhealthy love affair with tools of death and destruction.

And for some twisted minds, life, death and war have become detached from any sane sense of reality, from any pursuit of peace, and it's just become a game to them. A story line. It's come full circle.

They just enjoy dressing-up and playing a part, imagining themselves in some fantasy. They are Snake, in Metal Gear.

The guns, unfortunately, are real. The dead children, are real.

Militant Cognitive Dissonance

British political theorist Leonard Woolf said,"Anyone can be a barbarian; it requires a terrible effort to remain a civilized man."

Man has the potential to be noble and cultured, or merely a war pig, and in his heart, at the core, he is one or the other.  History is the story of both sides of man - creation and destruction, healing and homicide.  Here and there, occasionally there are such things as "just wars," but they are in the minority.  Occasionally there are egomaniacal rogues who truly oppress people, and their overthrow is justifiable, but for the most part wars are the failure of diplomacy and more the work of apes, not men.  Apes who can swing a club or pull a trigger, whether independent or mercenary, regardless of ideology.

There's a few things I find most depressing and pathetic about this whole gun worshipping - saber-rattling - dick-swinging - militia scenario.  First, there's the whole infatuation with violence as a means toward some peaceful and egalitarian end; the men who are so frothing at the mouth, so itching for gunfire and bloodshed to begin.  One could debate their true motives, but debate is not what they seek. Theirs is not a vision of peace, but an urge to kill.

I think the whole "dress-up" thing is humorous, in a way; the military camo, the face paint, the endless posting of pictures of weapons - the tools of death and destruction. Then there are the symbols; the logos, skulls and images of aggression.  Gotta look badass.  Men full of testosterone and hate.  The posing for pictures in uniform, bearing arms.  Look at me, I'm so dangerous.

There the incredible irony surrounding military weapons; that these men are so in love with tools of destruction that were created specifically to fight wars, by corporations that profit from wars, as long as those tools are only used by them for their means, and not used against them by the government they feel needs to be toppled and destroyed.  If you say to them,"Hey buddy…go ahead, start shooting. They'll bring in a couple air strikes and that'll be the end of your little platoon," then of course, you're one of the bad guys.  You're either with them or against them.  And any of them that might be actual veterans, who have served their country and seen actual battle, they know the score. They know that was is not just a matter of counter-insurgency, but of overall firepower and supplies.  They have neither.

And the vast majority of veterans - upstanding men who served in uniform - do not support the states rights militia movements.  They did their duty and put it behind them, returning to a more civilized way of life.

And the militants have no real plan - for after the smoke clears. They have only pamphlets and slogans.   No wait…they had a plan - to put the women out front. That's what a great strategic thinker would come up with. That's the kind of person I'd want as my country's leader (gag).  And if the shit had hit the fan, it would be their earth that would be scorched, first and last.  It would be their wives and children that would be caught in the crossfire, but hey, they're fighting for a cause, right?  Killing women and children is ok for them, as long as they're something other than white.

While most might agree that the federal government is cumbersome and inefficient, these "patriots" are convinced that it is evil.  They hate everything from traffic signs to Social Security, and especially taxes, although as any rational man would admit, that's how we create structure and infra-structure.  That's how we pave roads, distribute water and treat sewage.  That's how we create things like fire departments and libraries.  You know, socialist kinds of things that help everyone, regardless of their socio-economic level.

Here's the kicker:  where government is concerned, there are more than sufficient examples of countries with a similar structure, who provide for their citizens things like healthcare and free education.  You know, civilized kinds of things.  And their citizens aren't protesting, rattling sabers, advocating their destruction.

These self-annoited "patriots" want to dismantle our structure and replace it with what?  That's the big question.

Some of these groups are particularly religious-based.  Is that what they envision in their restructuring of America?  And don't forget that some of the most prominent separatists have been conservatively religious and racist.  That doesn't mean that all states rights groups are racist - it means that's where their roots are and there's still a lot of rampant (and disguised) racism in their "movement."

There will always be angry men with angry ideals, men who wave flags, weapons and Bibles, just as there will always be corrupt politicians, but for the most part, the system works.  It's not perfect, but it works.  If you want to change something, the civilized man does it within the system, by peaceful means.  You don't achieve anything constructive by shutting down the government (a la John Boehner) or in advocating it's destruction and overthrow.

Intuition

Alex Carrel, the French surgeon who pioneered vascular suturing techniques, said,"Intuition comes very close to clairvoyance; it appears to be the extrasensory perception of reality."

I've had a very strong and fairly accurate intuition all my life, although as a child it wasn't that well-tuned, and it has grown only stronger over the years. Some will laugh, of course. I've come to expect that, but those who understand will identify with much of what I write here. 

To qualify Carrel's statement, intuition is most certainly not fortune telling. I don't have visions of the future, I can't read your thoughts and I don't guess under which cup the pea is.  I've read numerous scholarly articles on intuition but my own life experience is sufficient to explain what it is. 

Intuition is a combination of all the basic senses combined with (and amplified by) experience. Thus, as you mature, unless you just spend your existence in a cave, secluded from society, all the data your brain absorbs from observing and interacting with people just fine-tunes your intuition. Life gives you a data-base from which to work. But it is not just experience. 

Actually, sometimes I almost think of intuition as a curse. There are times I wish I could turn it off, but the best I can do is to distract it with stronger sensory input or dull it a bit with something.  Remember that what Sherlock Holmes practiced was deductive reasoning; he eliminated what was not true to arrive at the answer.  Intuition is perhaps more like inductive reasoning, in that one can use things like speech patterns and body language to read someone. 

Does that mean I can't be fooled? Not at all. Intuition is not an exact science, but it's close enough.  A person would have to be a very good actor, a skilled huckster to accomplish that, because they would have mastered the art of illusion and duplicity.  Essentially, they know how to shape-shift their bodies.  The most effective gambling cheats can do this, and most people are just not good actors.  Anyone can tell a simple lie, but not everyone knows how to disguise it.  If you were to ask any ten people if they could get up on stage and do an impression of someone else, most would probably decline.  Yes, part of that is stage fright, but most people aren't schooled in the basics of acting.

So frequently, I know when someone is being disengenuous with me, and it pisses me off because I don't want to come right out and say,"bullshit."  Sometimes, but not all the time.  It depends upon the situation and whether that person's story has any particular consequence for me.

Other times, I can read some fairly creepy undertones from people; that they have something in particular to hide or that they might have some violent potential.  They don't have to look like a thug in order to be one.  Remember all the people who tell the media,"Oh, we would have never suspected him of _________."  

Still other people don't give me much of a read at all because - and I hate to sound elitist about this - they don't have a lot of depth, personality-wise.  That isn't to say they aren't nice people; they're just more like Walter Mitty with perhaps even less imagination. Sorry.

And as I said, my intuition has only become stronger over time.  These days, the downside is more like,"Oh, not this shit again," because there aren't really any new disguises under the sun.  Sometimes I just get the heebie-jeebies from people.  Creeps me out.  And yes, on many, many occasions my feelings have been confirmed by something people did or the outcome of a situation.  And - sad to say - there have been more than enough occasions when I made the conscious decision to give someone the benefit of the doubt, only to have my intuition say,"I told you so."

The fun and upside of it is that being married for 44 years, I often pick up on something from my wife and she laughs, accusing me of being on the same wave length.  She also has a damn good intuition.  And I realize that a lot of married couples do this from time to time; I just maintain it happens more often with us.

And happily, our close friends are all really genuine people, so it's not like when we're with them I feel the sensation of reading something other than who they are.  

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.