Dealing With An Artful Dodger

This blog entry is addressed to a former internet contact who shall remain nameless.  They know who they are.  To be perfectly honest, this person un-friended me because, during a discussion (argument) I decided I had heard enough from them on the topic, and I said so. The person said,"I'm not finished," to which I replied,"You're finished."  Hey, at least I didn't tell them to STFU.  I simply indicated I had had enough.

The argument we were having centered around appearance, specifically a woman's appearance in public.  I offered some information that was business/employment related; to wit that many hiring managers said (paraphrasing) that given two candidates with equal resumes and skills, they would prefer to hire the candidate that was not overly-decorated with tattoos and/or facial piercings.

My (former) contact basically acknowledged the unavoidable fact that appearance/clothing can make the difference between getting hired or rejected, but consistently refused to admit (or essentially avoided) the fact that one of the many modes of appearance that affect people's opinion of you is that of being provocative.  In other words, this contact had to admit that while being too shabbily-dressed or overly-adorned with tattoos and piercings could result in a person not being hired, they would not concede that there was a point past which most anyone would consider a woman's mode of dress/appearance to be overtly sexual.

My (former) contact kept trying to re-direct the conversation/argument to the topic of rape, insisting that a woman's appearance has nothing to do with being sexually assaulted, and I repeatedly kept reminding this person that I NEVER SAID that a woman's appearance was tantamount to consent to sex.  What I said was that in terms of basic risk assessment, there were certainly situations that people had the option of avoiding.  

Referring to the images above, I certainly would not walk down certain streets after dark (and some during the daylight hours), advertising the fact that I was flush with cash, making myself an easy mark to thugs and gang members that might reside in that part of town.  Similarly, I wouldn't be so stupid as to walk down a predominantly black part of town - especially a poorer section - wearing a sandwich sign like the guy above.  He may be exercising his First Amendment rights, but the odds are, he's going to get his ass kicked.  Maybe worse.

So no, I NEVER suggested that any woman was asking for it based upon the way she was dressed, but I strongly assert that BASED UPON your mode of dress, you attract certain personality types.  It's no different than an experienced angler using a specific kind of bait to attract a specific kind of fish.

Look…let's cut the crap and be honest about why people go out in public the way they do.  For women (some women), the whole point of dressing sexy is to be the center of attention.  And not just because it fills a childhood void left by their father's neglect (although it can do that).  When it comes right down to it, women can be craven little toads just like men.  They want their needs met to the fullest extent, some of which - such as adoring adoration - require the participation of other people.  And getting that requires some kind of leverage.

But often, men are just collateral damage.  Women dress up (anything from tasteful and classic to full-on provocative) because they know men aren't the only ones who will notice.  When it comes to getting attention, women can be some competitive bitches.

Women display their assets prominently for the same reason men leave their car keys out on the bar - to flaunt them.  To be fair, men do the same kind of preening.  Like when a man tools up to valet parking in a Ferrari.  He's not doing it because he's going racing after dinner.  One of the reasons he's driving that car to make other guys look like pathetic Honda Accord-driving losers.  It's pure Darwinism - except with cars.

People do specific things to get attention and sometimes it ends up being not the kind of attention you had hoped for.

So, if my (former) contact is reading this, you just keep on avoiding admitting to the fact that some women dress in a trashy fashion intentionally….that past a certain point (between the Amish and strippers) one's appearance becomes undeniably provocative…and that depending on the situation, a woman may or may not be putting herself at risk regarding unwanted attention and harassment.  And keep right on shaming fathers for daring to exercise their parental rights by suggesting that their daughter's appearance is in some way inappropriate. As my son said,"I'd rather be known as a hard-ass father than the one whose daughter was found dead in a ditch."

You keep on hobnobbing with your little rabid feminist mutual-admiration society.  I don't need to deal with that kind of thing.