Wednesday, June 4, 2014

About Guys

There's been a lot of blogging recently about men on the topics of rape, misogyny, open-carry, etc. and I'm gonna tell it like it is.  There'll probably be some male whiners out there claiming I'm all wrong; that guys aren't really like that, or there's nothing wrong with acting macho or that they're really all warm and sensitive inside, but they just have an affection for things that go bang and boom.
Let 'em whine.  I'm not saying ALL guys are like this, but there's damn well a LOT of guys that fit the following description(s).
What are my qualifications for talking about the male psyche?  A:  manufacturing machinist for 40 yrs., performing artist for 48 yrs., wilderness canoeist, off-road enthusiast.  Just some of the more common male activities.
Where machinery is concerned - everything from lawn mowers to heavy equipment - I've seen scores of hammer heads; guys who think that if something didn't work right the first time, do it again, only harder and/or faster. More power. More force.  So many guys have very little concept of finesse or delicacy.  They just go get a bigger fucking hammer.  This usually doesn't work out well.  It's always a matter of too much - RPM, load factor, feed rate, compression, or charcoal lighting fluid.  I've seen guys wreck so much stuff; overheat it, seize it up, bend it, snap it, red-line it, etc., because they had too much testosterone on the brain and couldn't take five minutes to back up, back off and calmly troubleshoot the problem.  Too much in a hurry, too impatient and too incapable of finding a solution other than brute force.
Then, there's that whole thing about being LOUD, whether it's their own voice or some over-powered stereo system. Once, while at a classy car show with another couple, some dudes in the parking area had to fire-up their 2,000 watt car audio with some annoying hip-hop, filling the entire area with obnoxious booming.  All around, other couples turned and made disdainful expressions.  There seems to be some immature need to draw attention, even if it's negative.  They don't understand the concept of other people's right to be able to carry on a public conversation.
This general attitude spills over into the social skill area.  Whether at bars, festivals or at the beach, many guys are just strutting peacocks.  They're Neanderthals in board shorts.  Their strategy for attracting the opposite sex is to be drunk, loud and drawing attention to themselves.
Many younger guys have actually asked how to attract women, when what they really mean is "how can I get laid," as opposed to "how can I get into a relationship?" I've explained to them about venues other than bars - bookstores, garden centers, art fairs - but what it usually comes down to is a lack of language skills.  They can barely communicate verbally let alone in writing.  The popularity of texting these days should come as no surprise to anyone.
We all know that about 50% of marriages end in divorce. Guess what?  Three of the states with the highest divorce rates are:  Alabama, Arkansas and Oklahoma.  Apparently, a lot of red state macho men have significant problems with maintaining a relationship.  And BTW, of the top five reasons for divorce, communication is #1 and infidelity is down at the bottom. It's hard enough for guys to admit to something like feelings let alone express them.  They're keen on football plays or mechanical tricks, but emotions are more limited to cheering, booing and cursing.
This whole firearms/open-carry issue is a natural extension of a testosterone-fueled psyche. The best sportsmen I've ever know were rather quiet guys who had a deep respect for the environment and habitat. Many were involved in habitat-preservation activities.  You'd never find them parading around fast food restaurants, dressed in camp, carrying military-style rifles.  But then, we're actually getting into the realm of fantasy, because that's part of the whole appeal - imagining themselves blowing away some intruder or taking part in some Teabag revolution.
Doing something "because you can" is no excuse.  One could also dress up in fishnets and a Cyndi Lauper wig, or walk into a museum with a chainsaw, but what would be the point, other than to attract attention?  Must be a "guy thing."  For some knuckle-draggers, anyway.  The rest of us grew up.

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