Sunday, August 10, 2014

Wingnuts and Self-control

(partly borrowed from an article at Crooks and Liars )

My thesaurus is wearing thin on adjectives to describe hate-filled pseudo-Christians like Bryan Fischer.

American Family Association spokesman Fischer is outraged that the U.S. is intervening in Iraq to stop ISIS.  Fischer believes that President Obama only intervened to stop the extermination of the Yazidis, who practice an ancient religion yet are considered by ISIS fighters and others to be "devil worshipers."

Wait.  Wha…?  WTF?

This guy's problem - other than the fact that he's let go of the last blade of grass that connected him with planet Earth - is that he just can't resist opening his mouth to announce his latest insane conspiracy theory.

Let's look at this from a different perspective.  You're a guy out in public somewhere, maybe picking up a few items at Walmart, and you're standing in line at the checkout.  In front of you is this rather attractive woman in her 30s, wearing a short summer skirt.  She bends over her shopping cart to retrieve something, and you get a momentary glimpse of her taste in undergarments.

Now, in your mind, you might be thinking,"Ooo, baby!  Nice knickers," but you don't SAY it out loud, obviously because you don't want other shoppers to think that you're a total perv with no self-control.  That, and there's the chance that the babe might smack you upside the head with a box of laundry detergent.*

But guys like Fischer…hey…whatever pops into their tiny little heads…it's gotta come out the mouth.  Same with Palin, Bachmann, Nugent and other assorted wingnuts.

You see, wingnuttery comes in all sizes, shapes and colors, and they all share the inability to keep their tinfoil hat nonsense to themselves.  They just can't pass up a live microphone…

*Didn't wanna seem sexist with the laundry detergent, but you'd better hope she wasn't in the Automotive Dept. because she works on her own Jeep.  Then, you might risk getting hit with a breaker bar or a large channel-lock.

No comments:

Post a Comment