Thursday, July 2, 2015

"Threatened" Marriages

I've been wanting to write this blog, since before the recent SCOTUS decision regarding same-sex marriage, for all the various homophobes out there; especially the religious conservatives whose heads seem to be exploding, whose worlds seem to be imploding, who seem to think that somehow the concept of same-sex marriage threatens or nullifies their own heterosexual institution.
And I'm borrowing from another blog by a man named John Pavlovitz, who is a veteran minister and father of two.  If you're curious, here's his Facebook page:  John Pavlovitz

John writes,"The idea that anyone else's marriage affects ours is fairly ridiculous.  Ultimately, this isn't about your theology, it's about the fading fine art of minding your own business."

"Even if you believe that same-sex marriage is sinful or immoral (which is your right), claiming that it does any sort of residual collateral damage to your marriage says more about the fragility of your relationship than it does about the LGBT community as a viable threat. (Scripture) never implies implicitly or openly that we get to police other people or they, us. The same folks claiming that gay people are damaging marriage aren't nearly as vocal about the rampant infidelity, abuse, and divorce out there in so many hetero marriages."

"As a father, my own dad-ness is not affected by how other fathers parent their children."

"The difficult pill for so many Christians to swallow is this:  gay people have families; caring, beautiful, flawed, loving ones.  They live lives together in deep community marked by all the compassion, frustration, intimacy, laughter, heartache, and richness that you share with your own family.

If you can't admit and respect that, and if you find yourself somehow threatened by any other person's pursuit of happiness or expression of family, that's your problem.  There's something incredibly troublesome when we as people of faith require others to believe what we believe, or worse, when we act as if their refusal to believe what we believe or practice what we practice in any way devalues our faith experience."


So…what I'm saying is tend your own garden.  You've got enough within your own relationship to be concerned about, to be worried about.  If a male or female couple next door decides they love one another enough to be married, you should be as happy for them as you are for your own relationship.  And if you can't share that emotion, for God's sake get the fuck over yourself.

See…that's the whole point of the First Amendment.  You believe what you want to believe and it's got nothing to do with what your neighbor believes or doesn't believe.  His/her pursuit of happiness is none of your freaking business. A same-sex couple next door is not devaluing your real estate.  They're not coming over to redecorate your living room.  They're not going to have anal sex on your front lawn.

And that's another thing that pisses me off.  All these heteros that seem to have this ick factor with how other people have sex.  AS IF hetero couples don't engage in some kinky shit.  Why would you assume that every male-male relationship is about anal sex?  Why would you assume that every female-female relationship is about strap-ons?  That's some pretty pathetic prejudicial reasoning, pal. (Sorry for the alliteration)  Did you ever think that two people just enjoy one another's company and want to spend their lives together?  And if they want to qualify that relationship as a marriage, what the fuck is that to YOU?  You don't own the rights to that word or that concept.

So, quit worrying about Adam & Steve.  Quit agonizing about what other people are doing in the privacy of their own domicile.  

And especially if you're someone who's been divorced AND remarried….more than once.  Who the hell are you to be defining marriage?

Love your own spouse and let other people love whom they wish.  Go read your Bible or polish your handgun for a while….

P.S.  And for those Republicans who are so concerned that people are working JOBS and contributing to society, no doubt the majority of the gay and lesbian people you agonize over are out there, performing some type of skill that may have a direct connection with your life.  They might be repairing the engine on your Lexus, or codifying your medical records, or handling your investments, or fixing that pothole in front of your driveway, or any of a million other things.  So, my point is, if they're out there working and paying taxes just like you, and if they decide they want to be married, they're more than entitled to the same marital, legal benefits YOU are, Jeb.  They're flesh and blood human beings riding on the same blue marble as you.  You probably won't have to bake them a cake. Relax.

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